But now, because Part V and its 'Impostor Jason' were unpopular, producers only had one choice- BRING BACK JASON!
Cool, sweet! Awesome!
But as it turned out, while kinda fun, it really isn't *that* good. Where I'm coming from is that they were going to do something that had so much potential, it could have really juiced the series with new fans, bolstered the faith of the long-time fans, and given us a great, truly terrifying return of Jason.
Instead, we got a fun, pop-corny, farce filled with lame jokes, devoid of nudity, and a plan for destroying Jason that was as lame as any attempt to vanquish Freddy. Sure, many of you already disagree with me at this point, but think of it...
They hire someone to direct the movie who has roots in horror, and who both understands and is in line with the ideas that made the series popular (and money-making) to begin with. It really would not be that hard to make a movie with Jason back from the grave into something ominous, scary, and tense. How?
1. QUIT SHOWING THE GUY TO US!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Super, you love the work your FX team did. But when we see him every 30 seconds, we kind of lose the fear for him. We get too familiar.
2. Like with Part V- cut out all these god damn deaths and characters that detract from an actual story with real character development. Make the central characters people we can identify with and that we like, and then let Jason at them. Then we'll care. But letting a VH-1 VJ be wacky with his girlfriend just to be in there to kill takes screen time from the central story. And while I'm sure to take muchos verbal abuse for this- that includes shwacking the whole paint ball scene.
3. He's back, he's strong, he's super strong! And that led to some kick ass kills! The Garris kill and Sissy's head twist were kick ass. He squeezes heads like pimples, flings guys through the air with iron poles, and yet... can't quite seal the deal with Tommy or Megan. Did he run out of zombie juice? Make Tommy/Megan etc. have to survive without writing in scenes where Jason suddenly didn't eat enough calories and ran out of steam.
4. The lame jokes. Stop. Seriously. Forever. These types of things have done more for me to suck the wind out of the Friday series sales than almost anything else.
I'm highly opinionated, but then, so is everyone else on the internet. I just love the series a lot, and it pained me through the late 80s and beyond to watch them get progressively worse. Part VII is my one exception, but that's for another day...
Rating: 2 out of 5 Machetes, unfortunately.
Review By: Josh3B
Follow me on Twitter!- @Josh3BBrown and @3Bproductions
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